Emo threesome

Just yesterday, I was taken on mini roller coaster rides, with my heart.

I had (really) random flashbacks for Mr JH us together. And I cant help to feel a tinge of sour in me. We definitely had our fair share of good times together. Sorry to say, it will only belong to us. I never let all the bitterness and pain to rule over my heart. Because I believed that love shouldn’t be misused. I loved him, and I do, with my frozen heart.

(Afterall, it’s a good two-year affair we had. *laughs*)

Then I recalled my conversation with Ivy gf. We were guessing if Mr J (finally) broke off with his ____ gf. Yah lah, we gossip around while babysitting Dylan. *Bleah* Nope, (in case you’re wondering..) we never once started. Neither would I brand him as a fling. Just some guy who came along at the wrong time, and messed up with my life. Thank God I’ve passed the messy phrase, i think. *Phews* Can’t help to wonder if he ever regret anything. *LAUGHS* *Because I think I’m really a good catch. LOL*

My last ride was a super random yet exciting one. I was on the phone with Ah Ying, grumbling that I haven’t seen Mr Stingy around. Next moment, he was standing in front of me, smiling. My heart literally skipped two beats. Muahahaha. Sugar Rush always serve as good brain breaks, increase my blood sugar, keeping me healthy, etc. HAHAHA!

But nope, I’m not falling. * You don’t try, okay?*

Three emotional rides a day, is pretty taxing can?

So what’s next?

Politics

These days, I feel kinda constipated with words. I can’t seems to express myself very well. And that suck a big time.

I guess it’s the people I meet and work with, that drains me out. Work load was never an issue. It’s the people who made it torturing. Their ugly stares that made it unbearable. Fuck those nonsensical rumours. Like Jonathan says, “Its total absurd”. It speaks a lot about those who actually believed whatever they heard, without thinking. Like damn, can’t you even think with your pea brain? Are you being stupid or just stupid? I think you’re just stupid.

Fortunately  for me, I only have another 10 more days to go, before I leave the place. And unfortunately, I only have 10 days to clear my name, aire things up, which is pretty impossible. Sighs.

Speaking of which, I think.. I should stop having any thoughts of Mr Stingy. Sick and tired of all the hide-and-seek thingy. Though we didn’t shared or talked much, our little eye contacts and laughter did give us away. *Thats because I’m a lousy actress. Faints* You, just stop trying to make me fall. Just let me assume that you don’t mean anything.

Skipped

!! What happened to January? It seems like 2 days ago when we had our countdown party and stuffs. I guess it never occurs to me that time passes so fast (scary shit).

Febuary = CNY, Valentine day counting down my relationship with RSS, numerous important birthdays and i-don’t-know-what-else. Tsk tsk.

***

I’m feeling so cautious with every step I take. Every word and action counts. Because I dont know when ugly people gonna stab me again. And I quit, falling. Save me from all the disappointments and heartache.

You, stop trying to make me fall.

Love is …

:: 1 :: Please don’t be too quick to judge me, not until you really know me for who I am.

:: 2 :: I swear that i never once asked for all the attention that im having at work. Then I ought to feel honoured because I presume my smile is damn charming.

:: 3 :: Tried to take off, and I failed. Just a little bit more, I guess?

:: 4 :: Memories will always be memories. I promise myself that im not going  to re-live those moments.

:: 5 :: Why fall for the sake of falling? Save it for someone who deserves it.

:: 6 :: I never fancy any hide-and-seek game of yours. Come, if you really feel for me.

:: 7 :: If you can’t handle me at my worse, then you don’t deserve me at my best.

***

594 + 594 = 1188
(Psalms) 118 : 8

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.

Random #3

Okay, just a pretty fast update for the past few days before i leave my freezing office and head out for dinner. Shall update again, when im in the mood. *fingers crossed*

Past few days, my ugly mood swings have swung way out of hand. I guess, i was just being too stubborn to let it off the hook. It never fails to creep into my mind during night time. And that suck a big time, because it always eats into my precious beauty sleep. Well well.. *shrug shoulders*

Byee idiot.

***

Last evening, i had a pretty enjoyable conversation with my boss. We talked about my work performance for the past few months. (If you’re wondering, my boss said im a good subordinate to have. LOL.) He talked about how he learnt to multi task when im around in the office. Because he we noticed how random people, who kept walking in and out of our office. And that made me laughed like mad. HAHA.  And.. we did talked a little on Sugar Rush. *blush* Hmmm according to his sources and observation, Sugar Rush is having some hidden motives to be my friend. Yadah tadah.

Good good. *trying to hide my evil laughs*